Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Grateful Days

Happy Birthday Cheryl!

Today is my daughter's birthday. I remember the first moment I held her. She would not be happy if I said how long ago, but as I did earlier this year, she too has had a major decade change...I still feel that same deep love today as then, when I hug her. But these days I hold her, and do not want to let go... June 13 she passed out while driving, her car flipped over and crashed in to a parked car( no one was in the other vehicle)...I was called to the hospital and was told she had had a brain bleed, which caused her pass out. I feared for her life. After further tests she was diagnosed with AVM.
We are still in the thick of it, and will be for a while. There is no such thing as a quick fix in this situation. But what is important is my daughter celebrated her life today! She is here with us. Her life and my grandsons life is upside down, she can not be alone, her car is gone, life is changed, her routine is upset, which she finds confusing. Her memory has gaps in it, sometimes words are hard to grab...But she is here...She has some treatments that are less than appealing for her to think about that will be coming up and still recouping, but she blew out her candles tonight.
I tell anyone who will listen to me, life is short. It can change in an instant. We are quite cognizant that this could have turned out very differently. But today, her birthday, we spent the afternoon together, on my deck, alone, just quietly talking or me listening, thankfully listening to this wonderful young woman. Thankful for her very life, thankful I could hold her in my heart and listen to her fears, her hopes and her thoughts about this new fork in her road.

I took her to one of her favorite spots to walk and just be, Meshanticut Lake, the other day. We took our time and we sat. She told me she thought this was the best view. So I took it, enlarged it and framed it. Now she has it to look at whenever.

There is allot more to say but for now this will do. I can write about her, the range of our emotions, fear, and the incredible kindness of everyone we know and some we don't know. Yes, I should like to say more about all of that. The funny thing is, and there is always a funny thing with me, it keeps me going. But when I began this blog she would ask me, when are you going to put me in your blog...Well, here she is, meet Cheryl.

Thanks for reading and have a great day. Prayer and good thoughts are welcome


mad angel said...

Carol, you all have been in my good thoughts and prayers since I heard from Cindy awhile back. no, it does not sound like treatment is an easy thing (I followed the AVM link to see), but at least something can be done so this doesn't crop up again. I'm glad to read about the birthday celebration -- you're right, truly a blessing. I hope the situation continues to improve.

Sorry I have not written sooner, but we are transitioning my mom to assisted living. We don't have a firm diagnosis yet, but the neurologist thinks she is in the early stages of Alzheimer's. There are a lot of adjustments to be made, but so far, day 2 in the assisted living facility, she seems to be doing all right. One of the PCAs keeps insisting she is "cute." Oy veh. Let's hope she stays "cute."

Well, at least she has three good meals a day now, and staff to encourage her to mingle with the other residents, and someone checking in on her every couple of hours if she does not appear in the public areas when she is supposed to.

I am spinning as much as I can, and send my thoughts your way in that time. When spinning, I can focus in on all sorts of things that I can't while I'm otherwise occupied. (Housework ain't conducive to meditation.)

I hope Cheryl continues to improve, and that soon YOU can rest easy again. Hope to see you sometime soon in one of the usual venues, when you can get away for a bit.


K Spoering said...

My son's birthday is today (the third). I know how precious our children are. I'll put your daughter and her future treatment in my prayers. I'm so glad the accident led to the problem solution, and she was safe through it!

Kristen said...

What a traumatic experiemce for you all. Thank goodness your daughter wasn't badly injured in the accident. It sounds like the treatment options, though not pleasant, do work. Prayers and good thoughts to you all. Wishing Cheryl many more happy birthdays.

cindy said...

Carol.................glad to see you are back to writing on your blog. Sharing our difficulties is one way of coping. Know that Cheryl is in my thoughts and prayers.Tell her I said Happy Belated Birthday!

Now and Then said...

Carol - thanks for sharing this with us. It's so hard when your children are ill - you want to make everything right for them and you just can't. Remember when all they needed was a bottle and a diaper change.