Friday, September 27, 2019

Thoughtful Days

It has been a while since writing.  I wondered why I stopped posting and realized life was happening and then, there is Facebook.  But of late I find myself thinking about writing and keeping track here, on my blog. It feels a bit more personal, contained maybe.  So I will give it a go and see where it takes me.

So much has changed since I began this blog. My husband had died six years ago on August twenty-eight. I am not sure how six years have passed but here we are. Both of my beagle girls, Amy and Maggie are both with Richard, I like to think. I lost my Maggie two years ago. She was fifteen and so important to me when my husband died. She was with me through it all and in the grief. Then four months after Maggie’s passing, a little eight year old, thirteen inch beagle girl came into my life, thanks to a friend. She needed a home and I needed her. So Bitty and I have been taking care of one another, now ever since with it coming up on to two years in December.
Bitty


I am trying to make sense of this new way of life.  I was married to the same man for fifty years so six years relative to fifty, is a drop in the bucket.  I am still trying to be comfortable in my own skin.  I take care of my home, yard, and car.  I have had to learn as I go.  You tube has been a huge help in many ways, from changing faucets to taking traps apart to clean to checking the various needs of my eighteen year old Subaru.  

At the same time I have been digging down deep, staying with the grief, the sadness's, the anger, feeling what was happening to me inside and processing, always processing.  What I believed about life was changing, as was I.  I met my husband at fourteen going on fifteen.  We married very young and boom, here I am, without him. So I am exploring this new terrain within.  Looking up at the sky, the trees, listening and grateful.  Grateful for my little house, my sanctuary.  I smile when I think of Richard's words on many occasions: You need a whole house of your own for your stuff.  Irony.  I am an artist who also sews clothes and quilts, weave, knit, and even spin when it calls me.  But painting and drawing are where I leave everything and drift.  With that said, I am trying to sort that out.  And maybe I do not need to sort anything out.  I prefer to draw or paint during the day and settle with quilting or knitting during the evening.  And my tools and materials  are indeed part of the furnishings and he would be smiling saying, see?

  I just finished piecing these two quilts this summer.  I am on a mission to use up the fabrics and yarns I already have.  It's a great motivator as well.


On Ringo Lake


Log Cabin Braid
I also walk Bitty every day usually through the streets where we live anywhere from one to three miles daily.  Or at least I aim for daily.  Bitty doesn't let me slide much and that is a good thing, I suppose.  Occasionally my daughter will pick us up and we head to Rocky Point to walk our dogs as well as ourselves,  walking the path along the water.   It is such a beautiful place.  Twice around gives us our three miles.
Rocky Point at dusk
I think I want a quiet place to write and share what I am making, reading, and thinking.  So with that, I have a pacing dog who wants to go out for the last time tonight, but it is really to collect that bed time cookie when she comes in, you see.  She is a very smart little beagle.  I will leave this here for tonight.  I feel like I am relearning the process of blogging with the adding photos and formatting.  Learning is a good thing I suppose, though frustrating.  Have a great night and thanks for reading.  Comments are welcome of course.


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