Thursday, February 11, 2010

New Paths

I decided a few weeks ago to take a couple of classes. At the start of every semester I agonize over registering but get over whelmed by the enormity ( in my head ) of the task. So I usually let the beginning of classes pass by and I tuck it back into the far edge of my brain, in the area of things I really would like to do, but usually just ignore. Take them out occasionally, look them over, dust them off and return them to the someday shelf...I have a degree, I am very thankful that I have it, but the major I chose never excited me, fed my imagination or was part of a larger passion. I earned it while raising five teenagers and all of their collective angst and as well as my own...

Fast forward to this past fall where sometimes the sadness was so overwhelming that I could not move. Those teenagers are adults moving into their own directions. I came across a program on PBS that I wrote about before, Unstuck, with Dr. James S. Gordon. I proceeded to get his book. The first sentence in the Preface read as follows,"...the end point of a pathological process. It is a sign that our lives are out of balance, that we're stuck. It's a wake up call and the start of a journey that can help us become whole and happy, a journey that can change and transform our lives." Well, I thought, that sounds hopeful. But something in the first chapter spoke to me, very loudly in fact..."calls us to question aspects of our personality, of our ways of looking at ourselves and the world that may themselves be the there something that needs to change?. adjustments in how we tells us we are on the wrong path.Over time, this second note becomes more and more insistent..." These few thoughts kept rolling around, in the backdrop of all that I was doing in a day or I should say, not doing... is there something that needs to change...that question alone was paramount.

So a few weeks ago I mustered the courage and in the pouring rain ( love rain ) I ventured to a local college and began a new journey, asking questions, directions, and the learning curve began. Last time I did this, one registered for classes in person, pretty straight forward. Now one has to register for a password and ID name and go home and register on line. Then one learns to play computer tag and keep checking the classes in question that are full and wait for people to begin to drop and one then immediately sign in and both of the classes I needed were full but I learned this little gem and registered 2 hours before my first class and then the next one I needed opened... 1 spot and I was in! And I am off on a new journey. I am beginning to answer for myself the question, what needs to change. I get tired and discouraged. sometimes. My brain is fighting the new information and in some cases I am starting over with drawing being in Drawing 1...quite the phenomena actually. I took these beginning drawing classes years ago but they have to be less then ten years in order for them to count for what I may do...So for now I am starting to work through what is known as Art Foundation classes, a series of drawing, design, and art history classes. I have some thoughts about where I would like to go... but for now a day at a time, a class at a time. But as tired and frustrated as I get, as soon as I get to class and settle down and begin to work I think how happy I am to be there, so very stinken happy, you have no idea, then maybe you do...I have 12 hours of actually class time and in theory we are told 12 hours of homework time. So it is beginning to impact my life in some ways but it is new and I am still trying to work it out and find my way through this so that I can do some more regular weaving and maybe actually paint...ha ha. Again, day at a time...I noticed in the picture of the girls below, their bed needs some serious repair...they are so sweet. One thing to add to
my long list of things to do.

The picture with the papers on the floor just about put me over the edge...the beginning of perspective drawing. Drawing those flat pieces of paper so the do not look like they are floating but actually on a floor. We all had to redo it...thank God I was not the only one that did not do it successfully. There is comfort in numbers...

I just finished the assignment for tonights class. I draw intuitively along with checking for angles and accuracy but perspective drawing has taxed my left and right brain have been in a struggle and taking me along for the fight...I know this is normal, still none the less, disconcerting. I know I am learning because that is really what the fight and the frustration I take comfort in we will see where this all leads me. I read a quote somewhere and it visits me is not the things accomplished we think about at the end of our lives, it is the things we wanted to do and didn't that tend to haunt us...hmmm. So I hope you will follow me along on this new path.

"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody."
1 Thessalonians 4:11

I also have been taking a 4 week tapestry class with Jan Austin, a local tapestry artist of 25 years. She is also a member of the Weavers Guild of RI which is how we met. She knew of my interest in tapestry and invited me to take her class in her wonderful studio. We have one more week left. I would love to continue with her but my budget at this point is not impressed with my art pursuits. But I can continue on my own and just keep working at it. It is all good...

Have a great day and thanks for reading. Peace.