Tuesday, January 5, 2010

The Real Soggy Bottom Boys, Man Of Constant Sorrow

No Rest For the Weary...

Yeah, now there's an attractive picture. Last night came home from a meeting and just needed to throw myself on my bed and watch a movie, eat some popcorn and escape for an hour or so with Under The Tuscan Sun...I have been working hard physically and emotionally on many things and was just spent...but alas, it was not to be. Something caught my attention in the corner of my bedroom, so I pulled my bed away from the wall to get a closer look, which meant my bookshelf needed to be moved, which of course meant my books had to be moved.

Mold, mildew all along the baseboard. The floor was wet, beads of water were on the baseboard. I could have just cried right there. This house has been nothing but stress and unhappiness on so many levels...Constant mold issues.

Clean up one area ( basement in September) then something else crops up in another area. We have absolutely no idea why this is happening. So obviously at 9:30 PM, I was moving things out of the room so I could work and spray the mold with bleach and wash it down.

It is no wonder why I feel like I get nothing done and I am always behind because I am always doing things like this, not to mention I have been sleeping with that stuff right under my head for I don't know how long. Discouraging...very disheartening. The background music for this post should be Man of Constant Sorrows.

Then when I can finally sit two hours later... I finally put the movie in and decided to knit a little and try to relax. So I began to knit, with the bed in the middle of the floor, my books everywhere, oh what the heck... everything was everywhere...but knit I did. The movie ended with me wishing I was in Provence with Francis and the sunflowers...Then I looked down at my nearly finished sleeve with satisfaction thinking I might actually get to wear this soon, just a few more rows to go...wait a minute, what is this? That does not look right...where is that chart. My brain for the second time last night went into overdrive...Then I saw it, I had knit the whole sleeve incorrectly right from the beginning. I thought what to do, what to do...I was not going to start over but I knew me well enough that I would not be OK leaving the mistake...so there was nothing left to do but rip back the offending stitches, that would be twelve times 19 inches. I am going to re-knit that area, annoying but better than starting over. Ah, so disappointing...This is what it was suppose to look like...

Instead this is what I am dealing with.

This evening we checked my Grand-daughters bedroom and the same mold and mildew problems are all along the molding and the floor as well as it all wet. We have no idea what we are dealing with. So more bleach...

I made myself a big pot of Minestrone to drown my sorrows...

Thanks for reading. Peace.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Trying to do the right things...

The three days of snow, bitter cold, and wind seem to be over. It is sunny out there and looks to be pretty calm. I did not let the weather stop me though this weekend hearty soul that I am...proud New Englander...ha ha. Went to meetings on Friday and Sunday night and a great Fortieth Party for Sarah on Saturday night, for women only. It was fun. Lot's of food, wine, conversation, music and ambiance with the background music and lighting. While there was a snowstorm mixed with ice going on around us outside we were warm and cozy inside enjoying each other and the evening, a respite from the seriousness of life. We all need that...I know I certainly did and I traveled very slowly through ice and snow to get there and celebrate with my friends Sarah's life and evidently the the others did as well. Happy Birthday, Sarah and thank you for a wonderful party.

Yesterday I awoke to more snow and cold with a beautiful Payne's Grey sky...I ate breakfast, wrote my morning pages ( which I had let lapse) and decided on a walk rather than church this morning... reevaluating many things these days...so for this morning I attended the service of the snow, in the cathedral of the trees and I came home after an hour more refreshed than any, and I mean any service has ever left me. I communed with my Maker in His creation of which I am a part of. I walked through the empty streets nearly whited out basked in the quiet and I loved it...reminded me that I used to do the very same thing as a child. I thought and prayed for peace for me, for my family and for the world...We all carry so much brokenness...I know I do and that is all I can speak to. But that brokenness spreads from me like a pebble in a pond...

Then back home...to more of this. Spoke to my 80 year old Uncle yesterday...he was on his way out to shovel. Thank you, Uncle, for blazing a path for us that are behind you...learning that one does not stop until they stop, if you know what I mean. I've had some good role models on both sides of my family who I have learned this from.

I am happy to write that I am winding a warp for a shawl made of wool and llama that I had spun years ago. The tapestry loom is ready. My sweater is quickly nearing completion. It is all good...

As I write this I am listening to Yann Tiersen on Pandora who is an amazing French composer of many wonderful movie scores and music in his own right. Find him and enjoy...

I leave you with a quote that kind of speaks to where I am right now...Her writings usually leave me kind of awed that someone can actually put to words some of the things I think and feel.

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. -Anne Lamott

Have a great day...and thanks for reading. And I do enjoy comments...Peace

Friday, January 1, 2010

Thoughtful... On This First Day of the New Year

The first day of a new year I find I like to be alone and quietly working things out...in today's case I showered, knit, watched movies , made vegetable soup, some cabbage and beans, walked my dog and made it to a meeting I need to attend more frequently than I have been, note to self. My husband slept the day away and my granddaughter was away for the weekend. What was really happening, while doing all of those quiet things, was thinking...I thought about things I am concerned about, all that is on my many plates, and thinking about the awarenesses that have come up this week and have been journaling and praying. I have realized many things are just not working for me any more...maybe they really never did. So I look at today as how I feel each morning, it's all new, wide open to possibilities, full of potential. Of course by noon on a daily basis...I am ready to hit the skids...but we will see. Came across a program on PBS called Unstuck and after watching I was able to get a hold of the book by the same title. Half read but the kind of book one would want to work through. Lot's of good information, healthy, helpful and encouraging for some one with a well, let's see, like me who seems to be under a big black cloud most of the time...Funny thing is, I really love stormy skies, the bigger and blacker the clouds the better.
I have cleaned and organized my studio so it is more workable. I hope to get a warp on the floor loom and also get back to teaching myself on my tapestry loom. I am no longer in this room, but love this photo of Milo and I weaving. I miss weaving and Milo...it has been a difficult year...I need to return to the things that gave me solace. More painting and drawing on a regular basis...get the ideas out of my head and onto the paper.

I am almost finished with my Aran sweater, doing the final decreases of the last sleeve! No more pictures until it is off the needles and finished. The plan is to empty the bags with half finished projects and to get serious about some other things. Things came and went this past year, and I was not ready for a variety of reasons...but maybe this year.

I will end with these few lines from one of my favorite poets...I seem to fall upon it a lot lately. So maybe I need to answer the question that the poet poses to us...the question to be asked on this first day of the new year is...

...how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,

which is what I have been doing all day.

Tell me, what else should I have done?

Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your wild and precious life?

from The Summer Day by Mary Oliver