Thursday, August 28, 2014

One year...

This man...this man who I shared life with for fifty years, who I loved, was my lover, fought with, laughed with, danced with, had five children with, eight grandchildren with, and everything else with died one year ago today. I have written over the year extensively about my grief, sadness, hopelessness via Facebook and you for the most part have read and held me up...thank you. I am numb this morning. Oddly quiet and thoughtful but numb. A strange state of disbelief and calm. The tears are right at the ready. I find it hard to believe 365 days have past with out him, that I have cried for 365 days, sometimes for hours at end, curled up on the floor in the fetal position. He was my life I have discovered...there is much I have discovered about me over the year but the most important is I know  he was who I was meant to be with. That is it really...I loved him, love him now, and will continue to love him...I miss him still as much today as ever and look for ward to that day at the end of my life, with my hands outstretched to him and I see him again, and he will throw his

arms around me and I will settle once again...I had no idea.

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